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  • Jenni - Mellow Baby

It’s Not a Competition


Cartoon by Helen the Illustrator

It’s so hard not to feel competitive with other Moms.


Some kids are learning Japanese and mine are over here licking the refrigerator. I have so many days when I think they are so ahead of the curve and I’m nailing it, and other days I’m hoping they have a nice cell mate in their prison block who will remind them to call me.


The truth is, no one is nailing it. We’re all doing our best, trying to keep the kids alive for another day.


Moms don’t need to one up each other. Moms need to embrace each other. All this comparing robs joy and distorts from the ‘being enough moments’ and beauty of motherhood. And often creates a culture of aloneness and feeling like one doesn’t measure up.


No one is more lonely than a Mom in the middle of the night who feels like she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing and doesn’t even recognise herself anymore.


You’re still in there, you’re just a little rough around the edges right now and that’s ok.


I started listening to a funny podcast about movies (nothing to do with motherhood) and it reminded me how to laugh and enjoy things, during a time in my life when I didn’t think I’d ever enjoy anything again.


We all have things we love to do, try to remind yourself of some of those things every now and again.


It’s hard.

You will keep fucking up.

You will keep nailing it.

You will fall.

You will rise.


You will find yourself again, and when you do, you will have some awesome kids by your side who want to know what your third favourite dinosaur is, and will just devour everything about you because you are so amazingly larger than life to them.


And that’s pretty fucking cool.

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